We Deceive Ourselves

Oftentimes we do things by feelings instead of by faith (according to God's Word- Rm. 10:17) or by fact (empirical not subjective). When we justify these things in a manner that is not Biblical (i.e., not following Scriptural guidelines) we hurt others, our testimony, and ultimately our relationship with the Lord.

As a pastor I have to deal with people wanting to get married more often than I would like (quite frankly, doing marriages is nerve wracking). In the course of premarital counseling I sometimes find out that one of the couple is a believer and the other is an unbeliever which is clearly forbidden in the Word of God (II Co. 6 among many others). Of course, I have decline to perform these ceremonies since they are blatantly against what I stand for as a servant of God. As you might expect not everyone understands or appreciates my Biblical stand.

Some act as if it is something personal involved in my decision. I suppose it is personal that I want to be Scriptural and they don't but that's not what I mean. Some have tried to tell me they prayed about it and God said it was okay. God said it? He spoke to them? No, but they "feel" it is alright. Ah, the crux of the matter. When feelings go against the Word our feelings are wrong. If we think otherwise, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. Suppose we have said we will do something that is not wrong but we later feel we shouldn't do it. Then by God's grace we should go to those we have given our word to and explain that we'd like to back out gracefully. If they want to know why, we should tell them. If they hold us to our word we should do it (Ps. 15:4). Again I am not talking about something we know to be wrong, should that happen, we show them by the Word why it is wrong and decline on Scriptural grounds. What we should not do is leave them hanging wondering what happened. They will go off wondering for a long time what did they do wrong and perhaps agonizing needlessly when the fault is our own. Well aren't our feelings real? Well they "feel" that way don't they? But lets not be so arrogant as to think that are feelings are the same as faith or fact.

Is it easy? Not always. Is it right? It's always right to do right. But as someone said, "It's never right to do wrong in order to do right." If we think otherwise, well, we deceive ourselves.