THIS IS FLORIDA AS ONLY FLORIDIANS KNOW...

My daughter Rachel, a panhandler, sent me this one... some of them apply more to Central or South Florida rather than North Central Florida but I still like them.

"Down South" means Key West.

"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.

You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

You smirk when a game shows "Grand Prize" is a trip or cruise to Florida.

You measure distance in minutes.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

All the local festivals are named after a fruit or a fish.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer,

not summer but really hot, and Christmas.

It's not soda, cola, or pop...its coke, regardless of brand or flavor, "What kinda coke you want?"

Anything under 95 is just warm.

Anything under 70 is chilly.

You pass on the right.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Okahumpka and Loxahatchee.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, and a confederate flag.

You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.

You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

You get angry when people say "Florida isn't really part of the SOUTH"

You've worn short sleeves and used the A/C on Christmas.

You know from experience which sunscreen smells/works best.

Socks are only for bowling.

Pale people are rare and something to point and stare at.

Orange juice from concentrate makes you sick.

Tap water makes you sick.

If it’s afternoon, you never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store,
but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim.

Your house has a fireplace that has never been used.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.

You could swim before you could read.

You have to drive north to get to The South.

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

Every other house had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

You dread lovebug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.

You know what a snowbird is.

You know why flamingos are pink.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

You were twelve before you ever saw snow or you still haven't.