The diarys of Dogs & Cats

My sister sent me this in an email...(author unknown)

Excerpts from a dog's diary:

8:00 am: Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am: A car ride! My favorite thing!9:40 am:

A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am: Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm: Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm: Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm: Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm: Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm: Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm: Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favoritething!

11:00 pm: Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a cat's diary:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed Hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now....