Tuesday, June 30, 2009

QUOTES OF THE WEEK!

Someone has wisely said, "The Lord's sheep should NOT be playing with the Devil's billy goats!"

"The best you can be when you are older starts when you are younger."
-Evangelist Ron Reilly

"Who is hiding your sin . . . you or God?" (Psalm 32:5,7) -Evangelist Troy Carlson

"The point is not one particular system, one certain book of the Bible, or reading to earn some imaginary 'badge' to piously display to those around you. Reading God's Word is a matter of thinking-informing your thinking with what God has said. Think about what you read, look ahead to an application in your life, and ask questions so that you know what God has actually said. Reading the Bible takes time-so take time!" -Evangelist Wil Rice IV

"One of the best-kept secrets among Christians today is this: Jesus paid it all. I mean all. He not only purchased your forgiveness of sins and your ticket to Heaven, He purchased every blessing and every answer to prayer you will ever receive. Every one of them—no exceptions.” —Jerry Bridges

"Life is preparation for eternity." (James 4:14)
-Evangelist Chris Miller

"The solution to pressure is prayer." -Dr. J. R. Faulkner, former President of Tn. Temple University & Pastor of Highland Park Baptist Church in Chattanooga, TN

Monday, June 29, 2009

STOP, LOOK & LISTEN!

MATTHEW 25

Pastor Rick Jackson

Mt. 25 presents 3 pictures of the future. The old saying goes, "A picture is worth a thousand words." So this chapter has a lot to say. However, for times sake we can narrow down what the chapter says to 3 words--- STOP, LOOK, & LISTEN!

I. "STOP" [v. 1-13]

1. All appeared to be Christians- so STOP deceiving Yourself [v. 1-4]

2. Some plan to be Saved but waited too long- so STOP putting it Off [v. 5-10]

3. Some try to deceive others but you can't fool Jesus- so STOP trying! [v. 11-12]

4. All were surprised at His coming- so STOP trying to determine the Day! [v. 13]

II."LOOK" [v. 14-30]

-servants are rewarded according to faithfulness with what they have, not what they don't have (God doesn't expect me to be Bill Rice III but he does expect me to be the best Rick Jackson I can be)
-what you don't use, you're liable to lose (muscle tone, voice quality, etc.)

III. "LISTEN" [v. 31-46]

1. Saved or Lost by choice- what did they choose to do with Christ? [v. 31-33, Jn. 10:25ff]

2. Saved by Grace, Rewarded for Service [v. 41-46]

3. Lost by Choice, Condemned by Actions [v. 41-46]

ADDITIONAL LESSONS & CONCLUSIONS

-speaks of Christ coming to reign for 1000 years- this is not the Great White Throne Judgement

-Lost person, DON'T BE FOOLISH and put off salvation!

-Saved person, DON'T BE FOOLISH and put off service (using what God has given you)!

-Everyone, DON'T BE FOOLISH and think GOD doesn't see what you do and don't do!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

THE HEALTHY DIET

While at camp I had occasion to observe Junior boy who only ate the cake off his plate. On another occasion he hadn't eaten anything. When I asked why he was hungry his friends told me he ate junk food all day. This same book lacked energy to compete or even to stay awake during services.

When we lived in Tennessee we knew a young woman who rarely, if ever, ate fruits and vegetables. As a result of this deficiency in her diet every three or four weeks she would go through excruciating pain as her digestive system fought to do its work without the proper tools. I remember on one occasion she was very upset with a male classmate who misdiagnosed her condition as being a problem limited to the fairer sex. Indeed, her problem is common to those who do not regard the seriousness of their diet as a matter of some spiritual import.

I. SOME BIBLICAL FACTS ABOUT FOOD

1. Man was originally a Vegetarian [Gn. 1:29-30] Note-Animals too!

2. Meat was added to the diet after the fall & the flood [Gn. 9:1-3] Note-nothing subtracted.

3. Vegetarians are not more spiritual than omnivores [I Tm. 4:1-5] Note-maybe less so

4. Dietary deficiencies can cause physical problems [1 Timothy 5:23] Note-not the intoxicating variety [scurvy, rickets, brittle bones, hypoglycemia, diabetes]

II. MAN NEEDS THE RIGHT SPIRITUAL FOOD AS WELL

1. He needs Milk for growth early on [1 Peter 2:2]

As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:

2. Lack of Steady growth is Unnatural [ Hebrews 5:12-13]

For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe.
1 Corinthians 3:1-3 And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able. For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men.

Faculty- something has always bothered me for years and I've wanted to say it- I'm going to say it today. I've been around here a long time and there have been people who've come through here on faculty and some haven't enjoyed going to church here and it was mostly in Dr. Roberson's era-- it's not been recent era, but the same kind of mentality is there, and I heard this kind of statement, "All Roberson ever preaches is sin, salvation, and service- prayer, read the Word, that's all he ever preaches. I need something to feed me! I need something to feed me not just preach Gospel to people all the time." I heard that from faculty a lot. You know what I thought? Faculty, we are leaders who are training leaders. Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere- I should know how to get things from God for myself without having somebody give it to me all the time... that's the wrong attitude. "I've got to be fed." What are you, a baby? If you are a baby resign from the faculty because we need leaders and mature faculty we don't need babies trying to train leaders. so please resign. And leaders have enough discipline to say, "It's my job I'll do it it's right." ...Yes you need to be fed and you should know how to go to God's Word and get some feeding. -Dr. Roger Stiles, 12-6-1993, TTU president

3. Don't Limit your Spiritual Diet - Read all the Word [2 Timothy 3:16]

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

DIY

ACTS 16:29-34
Pastor Rick Jackson
Here is a well known and often misinterpreted passage of scripture. I once read an article which tried to use verse 33 to prove infant baptism was practiced by the early church. The article said something to the effect that, "Undoubtedly infants were in this household so they too must ave been baptized- thus proving infant baptism."
Two things- first, have many households here today have infants in them? How many don't? Okay, so "undoubtedly" is off considerably. Secondly- how many households here have a pet of some kind? So we could better prove cat/dog/pet baptism than infant baptism using verse 33 using their logic.
There are certain things that nobody else can do for you but you. Nobody can drink to satisfy your thirst or eat to satisfy your hunger. No one can learn for yo so you can retain something in your memory. There are spiritual truths as well that fall into this category.
I. NOBODY ELSE CAN GET SAVED FOR YOU!
1. They All Heard the Gospel [v. 32]
Verse 31 has been falsely used to say that God promises if one person in a household gets saved that all the people in that household will definitely be saved. Granted the chances of the other members of the household go up tremendously having a saved person in their midst but a guarantee? Nay, nay.
2. They All Had to Believe [v. 31, 34]
3. They All Heralded Their Faith by Baptism [v. 33]
II. NOBODY ELSE CAN SURRENDER FOR YOU! [Rm. 12:1-2]
1. Your Body [v. 1]
2. Your Mind [v. 2, Colossians 2:8]
Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
3. Your Will [v. 1-2, Jn. 7:14-18]
III. NOBODY ELSE CAN SACRIFICE FOR YOU! [Philippians 2:17]
Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy, and rejoice with you all.
1. The Sacrifice of Praise [Heb. 13:15]
2. The Sacrifice of Doing Good [Heb. 13:16]
3. The Sacrifice of Missionary Support [Heb. 13:16, Phil. 4:13-18]

Saturday, June 27, 2009

QUESTION OF THE WEEK! - Why is the church dying?‏

Q: Why is the church dying?

A: Earlier this year I attended Sunday services at an impressive 19th-century church in London. In a building with seating for 3,000 in ornate pews, a handful of elderly people sat inside . . . in chairs set up in the foyer.

The service, held in a vibrant city full of millions of people, reminded me of a funeral—not the funeral of a person, the funeral of a once-great institution. In the past 40 years, 1600 churches in England, with hundreds of years of ministry behind them, have shut their doors, according to an architectural preservation group called the Victorian Society.

Today, few Americans are aware of the spiritual epidemic that wiped out the land of our Christian forefathers. Even fewer are aware that the same epidemic has reached our own shores, spreading like a virus.

American Christianity could become extinct in less than two generations—if Christians in this country don’t act quickly and decisively. Respected pollster George Barna was one of the first to put numbers to this epidemic, finding that six out of ten 20-somethings who were involved in a church during their teen years are already gone. Since that research was published in 2000, survey after survey has confirmed the same basic trend.

The problem, in both the United Kingdom and America, began when the Church basically disconnected the Bible from the real world. Churches in America are not places where people typically talk about dinosaurs, fossils, or the age of the earth—that is left up to the secular schools and colleges. Effectively, the Church concentrates on the spiritual and moral aspects of Christianity.

But the Bible is not some “pie in the sky” theoretical book. It’s a real book connected to the real world. It has everything to do with history, geology, biology, anthropology, and sociology. It provides the true history of the world, as opposed to evolution over millions of years.
Continue reading as Ken Ham explains the source of church decay in Already Gone: Why the Church Is Dying. The article serves as an introduction to Ham’s new book Already Gone.
Did you miss it?

If you missed our live coverage of the tremendous “State of the Nation” report by Ken Ham due to slow streaming, we apologize. Due to the overwhelming interest in this first-ever broadcast from the Creation Museum, our servers had difficulty keeping up! But you can watch it for free now!

(For highest quality and ease of exhibition to families and groups we highly recommend our special “Recorded Live!” DVD option.)

Petition for Genesis

Are you a young-earth creationist with a graduate degree in theology or biblical studies? Have you signed our “Affirmations and Denials” document from the book Coming to Grips with Genesis? If not, and you want to learn more, check this out!

News to Note Quick Look

Kin confusion: For all the years of proclaiming chimpanzees as our closest living evolutionary cousins, some evolutionists think we may actually be more closely related to orangutans. Read more.

Dinosaurs on a diet: Dinosaurs: large, terrifying, and surprisingly lightweight? Read more.

Also: where there’s water there’s speculation; design, design, and more design; hide-chewing Neanderthals; and don’t miss . . . . Read more.

Prayer Requests

View the current prayer requests to keep track of and pray for current ministry needs. Thank you!

Answers ... with Ken Ham radio program

Gecko feet—beyond human technology?
Deadly germs—did they add new information?
Things evolve—but they stay the same!
Ötzi, the hi-tech stone-aged iceman!
Evolution—when it’s not evolution!

After Eden

This information was provided by Answers In Genesis, an excellent source of material relating to Creation and evolution. Please visit their website using the link in the upper left.

Friday, June 26, 2009

He Shall Prolong His days


Days of Praise

He Shall Prolong His days

"Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand." (Isaiah 53:10)

In this one verse, found in the wonderful 53rd chapter of Isaiah, there is an amazing prophecy of the sacrificial death of the Lord Jesus Christ in atonement for our sins, His resurrection from the dead, and the resulting salvation of many lost sinners.

This Old Testament chapter, written 600 years before Christ, contains probably the most complete and cogent exposition of the saving work of Christ on the cross to be found in the entire Bible.

How could it "please" the Lord to bruise His only begotten Son? It could only be because of the great work this would accomplish.

Then, indeed, "the pleasure of the Lord" would be realized. As to the Son, "He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied" (Isaiah 53:11).
After the Father has allowed the enemies of His Son to "bruise him" to death, it would be soon known that this was actually "an offering for sin" and that, having satisfied the requirements of God's holiness, the Son "shall prolong his days." Though He died and actually "made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death" (v. 9), death could not hold Him, and "he shall prolong his days." As He would later proclaim: "I am alive for evermore" (Revelation 1:18).

And because He has done this, He "shall see his seed." "For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings" (Hebrews 2:10). What a wonderful Savior! HMM

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

GLORY IN WHAT?

Bill Rice Ranch - First Light Devotionals

Jeremiah 9:23-24 "Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD."

Glory in What?

Jeremiah 9:23 reminds us of anything and everything we could probably want in this life-wisdom, strength, and money. Have you ever known a wise person to do something foolish? I think of Solomon, the wisest man, who had seven hundred wives. How foolish! The strongest man, Samson, could not govern himself. And the rich man in Luke 16 could not redeem his soul with all his money.

These verses remind us of our tendency to boast in what we have. We can be proud of and talk about our wisdom, our might, and our money. But Jeremiah was a weak man (remember chapter one?) that went to God for the wisdom, strength, and provision he needed. "Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches."
This passage also reminds us of what we should glory in. We ought to glory in God and what He delights in. If you glory in what you have, it will eventually run out. Your ability as a speaker will one day diminish; your riches could be gone tomorrow; and your wisdom can fail you like Solomon's did.

But God is loyal love, justice, and righteousness. Glory in what He delights in!
Evangelist Troy Carlson and I have an ongoing joke about meeting famous people. I have a knack for meeting people who are famous athletes and singers in places like airports and stores. In good fun, I can be a "name-dropper" about all the famous people I "know." You should glory in that you know God!

Do your actions show who you "rub shoulders with" today? The better question is, who do they show you have rubbed shoulders with? Is it God, or do you glory in your own wisdom, strength, and money?
"Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD."

For more information about the Bill Rice Ranch visit our website: billriceranch.org
Bill Rice Ranch 627 Bill Rice Ranch Road Murfreesboro TN 37128

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Incorruptible Things


'
Days of
Praise

Incorruptible Things

"Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers" (I Peter 1:18).

Not all the wealth of the world can redeem a single soul, for gold and silver are merely corruptible elements in a world under "the bondage of corruption" (Romans 8:21). Everything in the physical creation is decaying and dying. In fact, one day all these "elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up" (II Peter 3:10). Even the very seeds which transmit life are "corruptible seed" (I Peter 1:23), and all mankind is "corruptible man" (Romans 1:23). Modern science recognizes this universal principle of decay as one of its most basic laws--the law of increasing entropy.

Even in this corruptible world, however, some things are incorruptible. There is the "incorruptible . . . word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever" (I Peter 1:23). Even though "Heaven and earth shall pass away," the words of Christ "shall not pass away" (Matthew 24:35).

We are redeemed, not by silver and gold, but "with the precious blood of Christ" (I Peter 1:19). God Himself is the "uncorruptible God" (Romans 1:23), and He has "begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away" (I Peter 1:3-4). We work, not as others "to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible" (I Corinthians 9:25).

Finally, these dying bodies will themselves be redeemed, "for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality" (I Corinthians 15:52-53). HMM

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Who shut the door.



Sumner Wemps Spiritual Encouragement & Motivation

"The Spirit suffered them not" Acts 16:7

The Holy Spirit shut the door
"They assayed to go into Bithynia but the Spirit suffered them not", did not allow them to go. He shut the door. It does not say how this was done. I am sure the Holy Spirit suffered Celeste and me not to go to Brazil 57 years ago. We got married and in less than six months all of our support came in to go to Brazil as missionaries. It was staggering the way God did it. We and the mission board, were overwhelmed. It usually takes two to five years to raise one's support. Just as dramatically, God shut the door and we never went to Brazil. It was many years later before we came to know why God closed the door.

Behind the scenes
The Holy Spirit opens and shuts doors. It is vital and relieving to realize this. If we are "walking in the Spirit" and praying and trusting the Holy Spirit to lead us (Rom 8:14), when the door is shut, we can have peace and not doubt God. We must walk by faith and trust God when He may not tell us why! We must pray like Jesus did, "Not my will but thine be done" Lk 22:42.

Sometimes, here is why
Paul had a "thorn inn the flesh" Cor 12:7. He never told just what it was. "For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me." God never took it away but told him, "My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is perfect in weakness." You and I must know that His grace is sufficient for us when we have a '"Thorn in the flesh" or any problem or any prayer we do not see answered.

Our response
Then we must respond like Paul and say sincerely, "Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in my infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong" 1 Cor 12:7-10. Make sense?

What are your infirmities
What has He "suffered you not" to do nor get? He shut the door. He did not answer that prayer when and the way you wanted . He did not take away that infirmity and you have agonized and prayed for it for years. Don't be hurt, don't be angry, don't rebel, don't get bitter. You can trust God. He knows all about it. He is the omniscient God. A sparrow does not fall to the ground but what God takes note of it Matt 10:29. Trust God that "all things work together for good to those who love Him" Rom 8:28 and "take pleasure in your infirmity" so God can use it in wonderful ways to His glory.

Enter the drawings once a day, daily. Others do and have a better chance to win. Great books given each month.

On this day in 1945 Nazi forces surrendered unconditionally. If you surrendered unconditionally to God He will set you free and use you greatly to His glory.

"It is not what happens to you that counts but what you do with happens to you that counts." It can make you better or bitter." That is all up to you.

"The persecution of the early church was like scattering firebrands" Dr. L. R. Scarborough




IJCWM2H-GA007EM8-OA007GRN-TB007C6V-2HIJCWM

Monday, June 22, 2009

QUOTES OF THE WEEK!

“It is not only that sin consists in doing evil, but in not doing the good that we know.” —Harry Ironside

“If He be God, He is to be reverenced.” —Stephen Charnock

Regarding surrender . . . "Christ did not save you in order to go 50%-50% with you."
-Pastor Jon Stone


"Incomplete obedience is not obedience."
-Evangelist Chris Miller


Faculty- something has always bothered me for years and I've wanted to say it- I'm going to say it today. I've been around here a long time and there have been people who've come through here on faculty and some haven't enjoyed going to church here and it was mostly in Dr. Roberson's era-- it's not been recent era, but the same kind of mentality is there, and I heard this kind of statement, "All Roberson ever preaches is sin, salvation, and service- prayer, read the Word, that's all he ever preaches. I need something to feed me! I need something to feed me not just preach Gospel to people all the time." I heard that from faculty a lot. You know what I thought? Faculty, we are leaders who are training leaders. Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere- I should know how to get things from God for myself without having somebody give it to me all the time... that's the wrong attitude. "I've got to be fed." What are you, a baby? If you are a baby resign from the faculty because we need leaders and mature faculty we don't need babies trying to train leaders. so please resign. And leaders have enough discipline to say, "It's my job I'll do it it's right." ...Yes you need to be fed and you should know how to go to God's Word and get some feeding. -Dr. Roger Stiles, 12-6-1993, TTU president

Sunday, June 21, 2009

THE FATHER'S BUSINESS

LUKE 2:41-50
Pastor Rick Jackson
An event in the life of the Lord Jesus we don't look at very often actually has a lot to tell us considering it is the only account in narrative form we have of the years between when he was 2-4 years old and when he started His ministry at age 30. It should be obvious to even the casual reader of the Bible that Mary and Joseph, Jesus' earthly mother and step-father were godly people. That being said, they were not perfect people, they were sinners saved by grace just like many of us here. The only other possibility is that you may be a sinner in need of the grace that is being offered to you by God Almighty at this very moment. Joseph and Mary made mistakes, they didn't go around with halos on their heads, and they didn't always know what t do. Let's look at a example of that as we look at, "The Father's Business."
I. WHAT WE DON'T KNOW CAN HURT US! [v. 41-46]
1. They didn't know He stayed behind [v. 41-43]
2. They didn't know who He was with [v. 44]
3. They didn't know where He was [v. 45-46]
This is less dangerous from the perspective of Jesus Himself since He did not have a sin nature but others did!
II. WHAT THEY LEARNED WE SHOULD KNOW [v. 46-49]
1. Jesus Teachings Are Amazing [v. 46-48a]
The word "amazed" here is the Greek word ekplesso, ek-place'-so; and means "to strike with astonishment:--amaze, astonish". It is only used 14 times in the N.T., only in the Gospels and the books of Acts and only to refer to the teachings or works of the Lord Jesus Christ!
Luke 4:32 And they were astonished at his doctrine: for his word was with power.
Luke 9:43 And they were all amazed at the mighty power of God. But while they wondered every one at all things which Jesus did, he said unto his disciples,
2. Inattention to our children brings sorrow [v. 48, Proverbs 29:15]
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
The word sorrow here is the same used of sorrow in Hell in Lk 16:24.
3. The Father's will is better than the parents' will [v. 49]
III. HOW CAN WE DO THE FATHER'S BUSINESS? [v. 49-50]
1. To do the Father's Business learn His Word [v. 46-47]
2. To do the Father's Business accept His Work [Romans 3:25]
Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;
Hebrews 9:5 And over it the cherubims of glory shadowing the mercyseat; of which we cannot now speak particularly.
3. To do he Father's Business stay in contact with the Home Office [Luke 19:46]
Saying unto them, It is written, My house is the house of prayer: but ye have made it a den of thieves.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

QUESTION OF THE WEEK! - Is there an "ultimate proof of creation"?‏

A: Many creationists are searching for a “magic bullet”—a proof of creation so powerful that there can be no true rebuttal. But is there such a proof? In our brand-new book The Ultimate Proof of Creation we find that there is!

When many people think of “proof,” they often think of a particular piece of scientific evidence that they believe supports their position. They might be thinking of a particular fossil series or a specific rock or a DNA sequence. The problem with such evidences is that there is always another way to understand them.

An evolutionist looking at a fossil series is thinking in terms of common descent, whereas a creationist is thinking in terms of variation within a kind. An evolutionist looks at the similarities in DNA and concludes that there is a common ancestor. But a creationist, looking at those same similarities, sees evidence that there is a common Creator.

We all have access to the same physical evidence. But creationists and evolutionists interpret that evidence differently because we each have a different view of history. We have two distinctly different views of the world that constrain how we understand the evidence. So, there simply is no “magic bullet” if we are thinking in terms of specific scientific evidences. Nevertheless, there is a proof of creation.

Continue reading Dr. Jason Lisle’s overview of his new book in Is There an “Ultimate Proof of Creation”?

News to Note Quick Look

Another evolutionary flap: Last week we reported on a solid scientific study that dismissed dinosaur-to-bird evolution. Of course, some researchers have yet to catch on. Read more.

Rip van Microbe: After tens of thousands of years trapped in ice, an ancient species “wakes up.” Is it science news or the plot of a low-budget movie? Read more.

Also: lessons from XO-3b; fish: geniuses of the animal kingdom?; may we answer that?; and don’t miss . . . . Read more.

Prayer Requests

View the current prayer requests to keep track of and pray for current ministry needs. Thank you!

Answers ... with Ken Ham radio program

The flying machine—who invented it?
The meaning of death—did Adam know?
Jacksy’s—an example of created kinds!
Death, Eden, and the Lamb of God!
Vegetarians—in the Garden of Eden?

After Eden

This information was provided by Answers In Genesis, an excellent source of material relating to Creation and evolution. Please visit their website using the link in the upper left.

Friday, June 19, 2009

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Bill Rice Ranch - First Light Devotionals

Jonah 1:12 "And he said unto them, Take me up, and cast me forth into the sea; so shall the sea be calm unto you: for I know that for my sake this great tempest is upon you."

What's That Smell?!

My wife came into my office recently and asked, "What is that smell?" Don't you just love it when someone asks that question? Immediately you start to look for the problem in everyone and everything else. Isn't it jarring when you find that the "problem" is you? There have been times when I got annoyed at the ringing cell phone, the barking dog, or the misbehaving child. I thought to myself, "I wish someone would answer that phone (or quiet that dog, or discipline that child)!" And then I finally figure out that the ringing cell phone was my phone, or the barking dog was my dog, or the misbehaving child was mine!

This was exactly what was happening in the book of Jonah. God called Jonah to go to Nineveh and preach repentance unto them. We all know the story, how Jonah fled in a boat away from Nineveh toward Tarshish. Was he fooling God when he ran away? No! The only person Jonah ever fooled in this whole situation was himself. He thought the pagans in Nineveh were the problem-but in truth, he was the problem!

Jonah was not afraid to go to Nineveh; he was a rebel because he hated the people in Nineveh. He didn't want to preach to them because he didn't want them to repent! When he finally went and preached, the people did repent. Do you remember Jonah's response? Jonah 4:2 says, "And he prayed unto the LORD, and said, I pray thee, O LORD, was not this my saying, when I was yet in my country? Therefore I fled before unto Tarshish: for I knew that thou art a gracious God, and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repentest thee of the evil." Jonah wanted God to pour judgment on the people for their wickedness, but he failed to see the wickedness of his own heart! Jonah fell into the trap of being condemning of others while being complacent with himself.

So here in Jonah chapter one, we find Jonah sleeping on the boat in the midst of the storm. Was the storm the fault of these pagans? Was God's judgment upon them at this point? No. The reason for the storm was Jonah's disobedience, yet he let the sailors struggle while he slept. Finally, after the sailors woke him, Jonah admitted that he was the reason for the storm. He says in verse 12, "Take me up, and cast me forth into the sea; so shall the sea be calm unto you: for I know that for my sake this great tempest is upon you." The only way to solve the problem was to deal with the sin in his heart first.

We can apply this truth on a large scale to Christians as a whole. We will not see unsaved people saved and changed to be like Christ until we are revived and living as we ought. Revival is not for the unsaved-it is for those who are already born again.

Now let's apply this truth in a more personal way. Do you find yourself frustrated with people and situations around you? Maybe the problem isn't them, but you. Jonah thought the whole world was bad (bad weather, man-eating fish in the sea, etc.). But he would not have faced any of those problems if he had not chosen to disobey God. Sometimes the problem is closer to home than you think!

For more information about the Bill Rice Ranch visit our website: billriceranch.org
Bill Rice Ranch 627 Bill Rice Ranch Road Murfreesboro TN 37128

Thursday, June 18, 2009

It Is Christ



Days of Praise
It Is Christ
June 18, 2009
 
"Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us." (Romans 8:34)
 
In our text, Paul asks if there is anyone who can issue a guilty sentence against believers. In light of all Christ has done, and the fact that the Father "hath committed all judgment unto the Son" (John 5:22), only Christ has the authority to condemn. Will Christ condemn those for whom He died? Obviously not, and Paul gives four reasons why the very suggestion is absurd.
 
First: "It is Christ that died." He is the very one who left heaven to die as a substitute for us. True, "the wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23), but "Christ died for our sins" (1 Corinthians 15:3). Certainly, the one who bore condemnation for us will not turn and condemn us.
 
Second: He "is risen again." He did not stay in the grave, but He rose victorious, proving that God the Father had accepted His sacrifice. Certainly "the firstborn from the dead" (Colossians 1:18) who desires "that he might be the firstborn among many brethren" (Romans 8:29) will not turn and thwart His own work and plan.
 
Third: He is even now "at the right hand of God" where He is, among other things, preparing a place for us (John 14:2-3). He intends for us to join Him and will not condemn us. One would think He had done enough for us, but no.
 
Fourth: He "also maketh intercession for us." As long as we, His "brethren," still live, He is interceding to God on our behalf. He asks the Father for our acceptance, not for our condemnation.
 
If the only one with authority to condemn will not condemn, then we have the assurance that nothing "shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:39). JDM
 
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

"I THINK I'LL JUST GO ON ANYWAY"

HEBREWS 6:1
Dr. Raymond Hancock [edited, enlarged, & adapted by Pastor Rick Jackson]
Paul was saying, "Don't stop at salvation...press for the mark... press on... go on anyway." The same thing Peter said when he said, "But grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." The same thing Jesus did when he set His face as a flint toward Jerusalem. He told us in John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
We ought:
I. GO ON IN SPITE OF OPPOSITION [Eph. 6:12]
1. Seek to be the best Christian you can be [Phil. 3:14, Rm. 12:1-5]
2. Seek to perfect the ministry God has given you [Rm. 12:6-8]
3. Seek to perfect the the presence of Christ in your life [Rm. 12:9-21]
We will be tempted to quit because of the opposition but say instead, "I think I'll just go on anyways!"
II. GO ON IN SPITE OF EVERY TRIAL
1. Consider the Normality of Trials [1 Peter 4:12]
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
2. Consider the Source of Trials [Job 1:9-2:10]
3. Consider the Satisfaction of Trials [1 Peter 1:7]
That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
James 5:11 Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy
We'll be tempted to quit because of trials but we should say, "I think I'll just go on anyway!"
III. GO ON IN SPITE OF TEARS
1. Because of Enemies [Psalm 6:6-8]
I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears. Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies. Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the LORD hath heard the voice of my weeping.
2. Because of Lost Souls [Psalm 126:5-6]
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.
Acts 20:31 Therefore watch, and remember, that by the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears.
3. Because of Death [Isaiah 25:8]
He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces;
Revelation 7:17 For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.
Rev. 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
4. Because of Sin [Jeremiah 13:17]
But if ye will not hear it, my soul shall weep in secret places for your pride; and mine eye shall weep sore, and run down with tears, because the Lord's flock is carried away captive.
31:16 Thus saith the LORD; Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears: for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the LORD; and they shall come again from the land of the enemy.
5. Because of Heart Burden [Hebrews 5:7]
Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;
We may well want to quit because of tears but we should say instead, "I think I'll just go on anyway!"
to be concluded...

God Knows Me



Days of Praise
God Knows Me
June 17, 2009
 
"O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me." (Psalm 139:1)
 
Perhaps the most frightening attribute of God is that He knows everything about us. Everything! He has "searched" (literally "penetrated") us and "known" ("understood") us. And since God is both omnipresent and omniscient, it obviously follows that nothing escapes His conscious knowledge about us. He observes our ordinary activities (v. 2) and our innermost thoughts. "Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways" (v. 3). The Hebrew word translated "compassest" suggests that He actually sees the formation of the words in our tongues before we begin to speak them (v. 4). That means that we are transparent to Him; we cannot deceive Him in any way. He knows what we are going to think; we cannot hide anything from Him. God knows what only we know about ourselves, and those things we won't even admit to ourselves.
 
Furthermore, He is everywhere around each one of us (vv. 7-10), wherever we are or could be. He fills all space, and there is no escape. We cannot hide from God. He is wherever we go. The apostle Paul once observed: "For in him we live, and move, and have our being" (Acts 17:28). This very intimate and complete knowledge about us is what makes God's salvation such a marvelous matter. "For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:6-8). God loves us in spite of what we have become. Yet, since He knows what we could be, He gives us eternal life through His Son so that we will realize, one day, what He knows we shall be. HMM
 
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Institute for Creation Research | 1806 Royal Lane | Dallas | TX | 75229



Tuesday, June 16, 2009

QUOTES OF THE WEEK!

One of the telltale signs of the Spirit-filled life is gratitude. Show me a grumbler, and I’ll show you a person who has distanced herself or himself from the Spirit of God. —Chuck Swindoll

Does your direction determine your decisions; or do your decisions determine your direction? The answer is, Yes! Your direction in life will influence your decisions, and the decisions you do make will affect your direction. - Evangelist Wil Rice

Regarding a good name . . . "The choices you make determine the name you choose." (Prov. 22:1)
-Evangelist Troy Carlson

God cares more about the love of the servant than the length of the service. —Vance Havner

Regarding trusting Christ for salvation . . ."It's not believing in but believing on."
-Evangelist Cranston Knowles

Monday, June 15, 2009

JOKE OF THE WEEK!

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one
day.

As they walk, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most
beautiful woman in the world."

"I am entering!" said Snow White.

After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd you
do?"

"First Place!," said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the
strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman.

After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make
out?"

"First Place," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the
greatest liar in the world?"

"I'm entering," says Pinocchio.

After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.

"What happened?" they asked.

"Who's Nancy Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

A Truly New Thing


Days of Praise
A Truly New Thing
June 14, 2009
 
"How long wilt thou go about, O thou backsliding daughter? for the LORD hath created a new thing in the earth, A woman shall compass a man." (Jeremiah 31:22)
 
Long ago, the wise man concluded: "There is no new thing under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9). That nothing is now being created is even recognized as a scientific law.
 
But God reminds us as He reminded His backsliding people of Israel that He has, indeed, created one new thing in the earth. Since only God can "create," a really new thing would have to be produced directly by the Lord Himself. Of course, God had completed His original work of creating all things long ago (Genesis 2:1-3), including a marvelous mechanism for human reproduction. Nevertheless, because of man's sin, He very soon had to begin a work of reconciliation, and this included a primeval promise that "the seed of the woman" (Genesis 3:15) would come someday to accomplish this great work. Since all normal reproduction requires male seed, such a miracle would mean God would have to create a new thing when the appropriate time would come. At that time, as Isaiah prophesied many years later, "a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son," and that Son would be "the mighty God," who would establish His kingdom "with justice from henceforth even for ever" (Isaiah 7:14; 9:6-7).
 
Then, still later, Jeremiah reminded his forgetful people of this same great promise: God would create, by His mighty power, a new thing, a perfect human body, without inherited sin or physical blemish, and with no contribution from either male or female, in the womb of a specially called virgin. She would compass that "holy thing" (Luke 1:35) with warmth and love for nine long months as it grew in her womb. Then, in the fullness of time, "God sent forth his Son, made of a woman" (Galatians 4:4), to "save his people from their sins" (Matthew 1:21). HMM
 
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Institute for Creation Research | 1806 Royal Lane | Dallas | TX | 75229



Saturday, June 13, 2009

QUESTION OF THE WEEK! - Did birds evolve from dinosaurs?‏

Q: Did birds evolve from dinosaurs?

A: The notion that theropod dinosaurs evolved into birds has almost certainly become one of the most widely accepted “facts” of evolution. The question for many evolutionary researchers had transitioned from “if” to “how.” Even artists’ depictions of some dinosaurs (such as velociraptors) began to include feathers. Except for a few notable critics, such as University of North Carolina paleobiologist Alan Feduccia, evolutionists seem to have all but agreed on birds’ dinosaurian origins.

Now, a new paper in the Journal of Morphology presents the research of two Oregon State University scientists who don’t agree with the evolutionary dogma on bird origins. Doctoral student Devon Quick conducted the investigation into bird breathing and its connection with dinosaur-to-bird evolution as part her dissertation.

The research hinges—almost literally—on the femur (upper leg bone) of birds. Unlike other walking creatures, a bird’s femur does not move significantly, and birds instead articulate the lower portion of their leg to walk or run. Quick’s surprising discovery is that this “knee running” anatomy, with nearly fixed femur bones and musculature, is crucial in preventing a bird’s air-sac lung from collapsing whenever the bird takes a breath.

Quick explained, “This is fundamental to bird physiology. It’s really strange that no one realized this before. The position of the thigh bone and muscles in birds is critical to their lung function, which in turn is what gives them enough lung capacity for flight.”

Dinosaurs lack this fixed femur, however, and that includes the theropod dinosaurs from which birds supposedly evolved. Oregon State zoologist John Ruben, a coauthor on the paper, commented, “Theropod dinosaurs had a moving femur and therefore could not have had a lung that worked like that in birds. Their abdominal air sac, if they had one, would have collapsed. That undercuts a critical piece of supporting evidence for the dinosaur-bird link.”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To learn more about this incredible new research debunking a common evolutionary claim, read Birds Did Not Evolve from Dinosaurs, Say Evolutionists.

News to Note Quick Look
Birds are not dinosaurs!: The allegation that birds evolved from dinosaurs is frequently treated as factual by evolutionists. Now, researchers have refuted that notion—and it starts with an unexpected discovery about bird anatomy. Read more.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Birds are dinosaurs?: Creationists don’t claim that dinosaurs are still alive today. But because we believe at least two of each dinosaur kind survived Noah’s Flood (i.e., were on the Ark), we view the possibility as distinctly more likely than evolutionists. Read more.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also: Rocks tell us about scientists; Tame this gene; Evolution? Ha ha ha!; And Don’t Miss . . . Read more.

Prayer Requests
View the current prayer requests to keep track of and pray for current ministry needs. Thank you!

Answers ... with Ken Ham radio program
Ancient aviators—those terrific pterosaurs!
Lice study—disproves the Bible?
Mimicry—is this intelligent decision?
Mary had a little lamb—how amazing!
Christ’s first miracle—was it at a wedding?

After Eden

This information was provided by Answers In Genesis, an excellent source of material relating to Creation and evolution. Please visit their website using the link in the upper left.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Not Ashamed




Days of Praise
Not Ashamed
 
 
"Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God." (2 Timothy 1:8)
 
Paul had steadfast faith. He was also a very faithful encourager for the saints to "hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering" (Hebrews 10:23). In the text verse for today, he encourages Timothy to publicly express his faith in several tangible, but risky, ways.
 
Timothy is exhorted to not be ashamed of the Lord. The Bible's message is both very different from, and also very convicting of, the world's thinking. Thus, many outside of Christ react to His messenger with ridicule and personal intimidation. It is hard to stand against this tide, and the believer's embarrassment may manifest itself in silence. It could have been dangerous in Timothy's day to claim, "I am a Christian," as is still the case in some places around the world.
 
But Paul's exhortation also includes not being ashamed of "the testimony of our Lord," which is His Word. Every day in schools, on TV, or in other media, the Bible and those who believe it are ridiculed. These attacks can be so scornful and relentless that even many evangelicals find it difficult to not be ashamed.
 
Next, Paul adds himself to Timothy's list when he says, "nor of me his prisoner." Fellow believers faithfully and accurately proclaiming God's Word--especially those in a fire storm of resistance--need other believers to support them, not back away in embarrassment. Paul is actually urging Timothy to move beyond not being ashamed, and to actively "get in the fight" with him as he says, "be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel." Paul knew that Timothy would feel a deep and lasting shame if he withdrew out of fear to the "safety of silence," watching others boldly proclaim the gospel in a world that can be very hostile to the message. RJG
 

 
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Thursday, June 11, 2009

QUOTES OF THE WEEK!

I have just learned of the recent homegoing of Dr. J. R. Faulkner, a beloved friend, teacher, mentor, pastor, and so much more. I heard that someone asked Dr. Roberson what he would do if Dr. Faulkner was ever led of God to leave TTU and HPBC to go somewhere else. The response was supposedly, "We'd keep right on with the work! Going right down the line. Hire three men to replace him and keep going!" Whether that story is true or not I know the following quote to be accurate:

"In the many years of my work, I have found no one to equal Dr. Faulkner in fruitfulness, purity of life, and dedication to the cause of Christ. As a multi-talented man, he performed every task with precision, enthusiasm, zeal, and spiritual power. As a song leader, artist, administrator, preacher or soul winner, he worked with an unquestioned whole-heartedness. We continue to walk together in the work of our Saviour!!" - Dr. Lee Roberson

"It doesn't take any character at all to complain about anything." -Evangelist Troy Carlson

"When you wake up--- get up! When you get up--- wake up!" J. R. Faulkner

"At least four opinions exist of you: the world's opinion, your loved ones' opinion, your opinion . . . and God's opinion." (Jeremiah 23:24) -Evangelist Jim Cook

J. R. Faulkner was at Bradford Baptist Church years ago for a missions conference along with BIMI missionary to the U.S. Military Sammy Popwell. Dr. Faulkner came to me and said, "Brother Jackson, I want you to give all my love offering to Brother Popwell--- but don't tell him I said that... (and then thinking that wasn't fair to me he added) or at least until I'm gone." - Rick Jackson

“The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.” —Author Unknown

"Well, there are only two things that are eternal. The Word of God and the souls of men. So we better start investing our time in those two things! And that's what really, really counts" Joe Jordan, Word of Life [as heard on Gospel Dynamite, 11-5-1993]

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Behold the Lamb


Days of
Praise

Behold the Lamb

"And looking upon Jesus as He walked, he saith, Behold the Lamb of God!" (John 1:36).
 
As he spoke to two of his followers, John the Baptist was, in effect, telling them that they should henceforth leave him to follow Jesus. "And the two disciples heard him speak, and they followed Jesus" (John 1:37). On the previous day, when John had first seen Jesus coming, he had said, apparently to all his disciples, "Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world" (John 1:29).
 
This is the first use of the word "lamb" in the New Testament, and it is significant that it refers here to the Lord Jesus as the one great sacrifice for our sins. He is called "the Lamb" 30 more times in the New Testament, the final time no longer viewing Him on the altar but on His eternal throne (Revelation 22:3). Yet, even on His throne as our King, He is still the Lamb, and we can never ever forget that He once died for us that we might live with Him.
 
Long before this, Isaac once asked his father, "Where is the lamb for a burnt offering?" Abraham answered, "God will provide Himself a lamb" (Genesis 22:7-8). God did just that 2000 years later, when Christ, "the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world" (Revelation 13:8), "came into the world to save sinners" (I Timothy 1:15).
 
Then when God was ready to set His people free in ancient Egypt, He told them to place the shed blood of a spotless lamb on the doorpost of each home and said, "When I see the blood, I will pass over you" (Exodus 12:13). In fulfillment of all these ancient sacrifices and types, the once-for-all Lamb of God came, and "Christ our passover is sacrificed |even| for us" (I Corinthians 5:7).
 
Now, like John's disciples, it surely compels us, in the very depths of our souls, to "behold the Lamb of God," and follow Him. HMM

INSTITUTE FOR CREATION RESEARCH

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Tuesday, June 09, 2009

THE REAL "AN OPEN LETTER TO PRESIDENT OBAMA"

By Lou Pritchett

Dear President Obama:

You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me.

You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you.

You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support.

You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American.

You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll.

You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don't understand it at its core.

You scare me because you lack humility and 'class', always blaming others.

You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail.

You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the 'blame America' crowd and deliver this message abroad.

You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector.

You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government controlled one.

You scare me because you prefer 'wind mills' to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves.

You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world.

You scare me because you have begun to use 'extortion' tactics against certain banks and corporations.

You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals.

You scare me because you will not openly listen to or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people.

You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient.

You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do.

You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaughs, Hannitys, O'Reillys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view.

You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing.

Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years.

Lou Pritchett

Note: Lou Pritchett is a former vice president of Procter & Gamble whose career at that company spanned 36 years before his retirement in 1989, and he is the author of the 1995 business book, Stop Paddling & Start Rocking the Boat. Mr. Pritchett confirmed that he was indeed the author of the much-circulated "open letter." “I did write the 'you scare me' letter. I sent it to the NY Times but they never acknowledged or published it. However, it hit the Internet and according to the ‘experts’ has had over 500,000 hits.

.American Family Association – Tupelo, MS 38803
www.afa.net

Monday, June 08, 2009

Supposedly Real 911 Calls




this is the email that was sent to me...

 





 


 

  

   


 

 

 

 

 

 

Believe it or not these are  real Nashville , Tennessee 911 calls!


Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your  emergency? 
Caller: I heard what sounded like  gunshots coming from the brown house on the  corner. 
Dispatcher: 
Do you have an  address? 
Caller:  No,  I have on a blouse and slacks, why?   


Dispatcher: 
9-1-1 What is your  emergency? 
Caller :   Someone broke into my house  and took a bite out of my ham and cheese  sandwich . 
Dispatcher : 
Excuse me? 
Caller :   I  made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen  table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a  bite out of it. 
Dispatcher : Was anything else  taken? 
Caller :   No, but this has happened to  me before and I'm sick and tired of it! 


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature  of your emergency? 
Caller:    I' m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have  an eleven on it. 
Dispatcher: 
This is nine  eleven. 
Caller:    I  thought you just said it was  nine-one-one 
Dispatcher: 
Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and  nine-eleven are the same thing. 
Caller:     Honey, I may be old, but I'm not  stupid. 

My Personal  Favourite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of  your emergency? 
Caller:     My wife is pregnant and her  contractions are only two minutes apart 
Dispatcher: Is this her first  child? 
Caller:     No, you idiot! This is her  husband! < BR>
And the winner  is............ 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 
Caller:  Yeah, I'm having trouble  breathing. I'm all out of breath...  ......I think I'm going to  pass out. 
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling  from? 
Caller:    I'm at a pay phone. North  and Foster. 
Dispatcher:  ! Sir, an ambulance is on the  way. Are you an asthmatic? 
Caller:    No 
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you  started having trouble breathing?
Caller:   Running from the Police

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 
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